Q&A with Laptop, aka Jesse Hartman

Laptop

"So you're the R.J. we've heard so much about," says Jesse Hartman's mother. She offers me her hand, and I smile politely. I don't want to correct her. After all, I'm on Hartman's turf. We're in the Two Boots pizzeria owned by his brother, and I'm being mistaken for the respected documentarian whom Jesse will meet later on that night. It's all very glamorous in an almost-famous East Village kind of way.

As a member of the band Sammy, Hartman became part of a parade of NYC big nothings in the mid-90s. He's since stepped away from Sammy's generic rock and repackaged himself as a computer whiz working under the name of Laptop. Hartman began releasing a series of clever tunes written with a sick sincerity that triumphed over the electro-pop beats. "End Credits" was one particularly great brooding pop song, dwelling on the slow death of a childish relationship. The adulation began overseas, and MCA eventually released the domestic User's Guide EP in 1999. It went nowhere, and only sheer force of will has given us subsequent Laptop releases.

Last year's Opening Credits and this year's The Old Me vs. The New You have both been released on Trust Me Records, with fitful distribution and little attention. Hartman's still the best band in New York, though, and he's even making a rare live appearance for CMJ Oct. 13 at the Village Underground. As we go though plenty of free wine, Hartman discusses being a semi-hit act in a hitless town.

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It was the most anonymous cover of CMJ in history. I didn't get a single call from anyone telling me they had seen it. You'd think it had come out on Sept. 11.

That's the Laptop spirit I was hoping to hear. You've had a weird career for a guy who's recorded a legendary single like "End Credits"?I know it was legendary because the press releases said so.

To be fair, the British press was calling the song "legendary" the day after it came out. That kind of got in the way. Your first hit connects you to people, and then you can't get past that. It's kind of plagued me in that way...but a lot of songwriters would like to have a song plaguing them that way. My song "Nothing to Declare" was actually more of a hit single. Island released it right before my deal with them fell apart. It went to number 62 on the UK charts. I thought that was great, but they were disappointed.

"End Credits" is definitive of the Laptop attitude toward relationships, which seems to center on mutual self-destruction.

That was literally what I was going through. I was trying to call someone to break up with them, but she refused to call me back. It was like a game of chicken. "End Credits" was sort of the only honest song on the first Laptop demo tape. It kind of became a model from there.

When your first EP came out on MCA, there was already a lot of overseas hype behind it.

I'd already had several releases in the UK on very small one-man labels. But in England, that can actually work. Sammy had a little bit of that same benefit over there. People cared about us. At one point, Sammy played this huge variety show in England with four million viewers. My career has always had that dichotomy between the U.S. and the UK.

About "I'm So Happy You Failed": You wrote a song relishing another musician's failure, it debuted on the MCA EP, and then the label dropped you.

I knew that was going to happen. The whole second verse is about me getting dropped by a label. At least I had the foresight to predict my demise. It wasn't even a demise?you have to start from higher up to have a demise.

Who did you have in mind when you wrote the song?

There were probably about four or five musicians and filmmakers that I was thinking about. Recently I was doing some shows in England and I dedicated it to those Swiss boarding-school chums in the Strokes. That went over pretty good.

I notice that after years of being faceless, you show up on the new album looking like Marky Mark.

Yeah, I began with that mock-New Order style, doing that whole mystery of "who's behind the music?" I don't know why I decided to put myself on the cover of the new album. You've got to be crazy to pull your yearbook photo out and stick it on a fake boxer's body. Talk about your worst album covers of all time.

I'd still guess that being Laptop gets you laid.

Well, I'm not sure how to describe it. Do you ever really believe that Woody Allen is the big loser you see in his films?

Nope. He finally dropped the mask in Stardust Memories, and we saw how comfortable he is with women.

Right. Chuck Eddy in the Voice described me as a sad sack who couldn't get any action, which is a very literal reading. I don't even think the songs read that way. I don't quite have the problems in love that the songs represent.

At least not once you're out of the USA. But didn't you mention that you have to meet up with your fiancee later?

Yeah, I'm in a healthy relationship now.

That's a pretty lame way to describe something that's leading to marriage.

I guess so. It certainly hasn't made the songs more positive. I prematurely named the next album Accentuate the Positive. I actually thought things would get more upbeat, but now the title's just laced with irony.

But you're an international music figure, so at least you could lay a big rock of an engagement ring on her.

I do travel a lot. I just became a gold frequent flier on American Airlines, which I'm very proud of. That could be the secret to a healthy relationship. But I'm not doing well financially.

I thought there were, like, 800 different remixes of "End Credits."

Yes, but I had to do them all myself. Do you think remixes represent some kind of financial success?

What's up with your singing voice? I can't decide if it's a fake British accent or a Snagglepus imitation.

Some people have accused me of things like using a vocoder, but I don't. It's a funny thing. I've sort of reinvented myself to the point where I now sing that way naturally. And it hasn't helped that I don't play live all that much. This CMJ show is kind of my coming-out party. The band is great, with the rhythm section from Girls Against Boys. I went to college with some of the guys, so I cheated by wrangling them into it. It's kind of an indie-rock supergroup.

Shouldn't you just be alone onstage with some reel-to-reel tape players?

I've actually played in England with just the laptop computer running sequences and using projections. To be honest, I hate the way it feels doing that. There's no energy, and I get depressed. But we're camping it up with the live band. I've got the drummer playing a miniature drum kit, but he sounds great on it. I've got an obsession with the feel of Talking Heads on the Remain in Light album. But I hope that nobody thinks I'm saying that I like being in a band. You've got to play live, and this particular band has been a good experience, but I'd much rather be alone in the studio. I grew up playing different instruments, and it's fun being able to do it all yourself. It's funny how my career has followed this trajectory. I remember when Gang of Four went from being a guitar band to two guys doing electronic funk, and I hated it. Now here I am doing the same thing.

Do you like the new album better than Opening Credits?

It's not as good as Opening Credits, but there are still lots of good songs.

I ask because there's been a bit of a ruse perpetuated by myself. I recorded 24 songs with Island Records, because the UK market demands a lot of B-sides. What I've done is taken the songs and divided them up into two albums. Now the press is complaining about how I've changed since the first album, but there's really been no chance for a change.

The only song I really hate on the new album is the closing track with the detached voiceover. It sounds too much like Ultravox.

I just read a review from England where the writer hated the album except for that track.

They like Ultravox in England. They even liked Sammy.

You know, Sammy put me in an entire universe that I didn't really like. We kept being lumped in with this Pavement kind of sound that really had nothing to do with me. That's why I had to do something that was the complete opposite. There were a lot of people who were baffled and disillusioned by that. And then there are people like you, who are very happy to see me turning away from that.

Well, I wish you'd been rewarded better. I'd hate to see you reform Sammy.

I've managed to put together my own studio now. That's one of the good things that came from my own major label deal. But I don't think I've ever received a royalty check in my life.

That's brilliant. Your rock 'n' roll dream is of a first royalty check.

Does that sound too pathetic? This whole loser thing is kind of tongue-in-cheek, isn't it? I'm really hoping the fourth album will be positive. You know, some of my relationships have been quite good. Is it possible to do this interview over as a more positive person?

Laptop plays Sat., Oct. 13, at the Village Underground, 130 W. 3rd St. (betw. 6th Ave. & MacDougal St.), 777-7745 (also see cmj.com).